Hi, I'm Jeremy.

Keep your head up.

I drove around for an hour tonight after I left.

Aimlessly, without any destination in mind. And then, in the middle of nowhere, with no one around for miles, I parked my car in the road and turned the lights off. I turned the music down and pressed my face against the glass of the window. I closed my eyes, and let my mind begin to wander. 

I’m not sure how long I was there, but eventually a car came up behind me and I had to leave. So then I drove home, but parked a few streets away from my house and did the same thing. Music down, face pressed against the window, almost drifting to sleep. I sat there until it became uncomfortably cold in my car, and then forced myself to go home. But even as I sat in my driveway, I was hesitant to go inside. It seems that lately, I just hate going home. I hate coming inside this quiet house. I hate getting on this computer and checking my email, or typing in this stupid blog. I hate not being with anyone after seeing all my friends. 

More than anything, though, I hate this feeling of loneliness.

And just like that,

I’m back to the state I was in not even twenty-four hours ago. I think the worst part about this is that you don’t even realize what you do to me.

Random Thought #8

I’ve noticed that I tend to see my life as if I were watching a movie. Almost as if I’m not really in my body, but instead I’m watching myself and the things that happen around me in the third person. It’s weird, I know. But to me, it makes life seem more… genuine. More beautiful. It makes every little thing seem more important. Moments and events that I experience are played out like scenes: some are in slow motion, some have intricate camera angles and cinematography, some have a soundtrack. Lighting and contrast are always perfect, giving an artistic look to everything I see. Every little detail is brought out. Music is always playing in my head, adding emotion and depth to every situation, thought, and interaction. Sometimes I’ll make up the scenes in my head, and reality will blur with fiction. I’ll picture a certain event unfolding; choreographed perfectly to how I think it will happen. It’s usually a lot better than how things would happen real life, needless to say. But most of the time, I just take what I see and add elements of a movie to it.

It’s all in my head, of course. But it really makes life a whole lot more interesting.

I'd steal your eyes

just so you could never see me fall.

I can't function

when my mind is always somewhere else.

And maybe someday,

my words will find their way into somebody’s heart. Maybe my music will have a profound impact on someone. Maybe someday, I’ll write something that will change a life. Or maybe I’ll get a chance to share my love with somebody who needs it. Maybe then, they would take that love and pass it on to others. Maybe that could start a chain reaction. Maybe that love would slowly start to spread. Maybe it would grow, and consume the hearts of millions.  Maybe then, everybody would learn to love one another. Maybe differences would be embraced rather than fought over. Maybe there would be no more war, murder, racism, or hatred. Maybe there would finally be peace and happiness on earth. Maybe then, the world would be a better place.

And maybe this isn’t such such a crazy idea. Maybe this could actually happen. Maybe someday, we’ll change the world with love.

This morning,

I awoke to the sound of my alarm, just like every other morning. But this morning was different. I tried to ignore it. I tried to shut it out. I didn’t want to come back to reality. I didn’t want to wake up. Not because I was tired, but because I was in the middle of what very well may have been the best dream I’ve ever had.

To every friend that I've grown distant with lately:

I miss you.